Habits
Part 2
Teaching Old Dogs New Tricks
05/09/2024
You’ve probably heard the old saying “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” and while it’s not technically true when applied to humans, it does bring up a good point. Old dogs become “set in their ways”. They have done the same thing so many times that they have reinforced those neural pathways such that there are multiple lanes on that highway. But, those lanes, those neural pathways, are just rubber bands, so they are pliable. You just have to be willing to change and that’s something old dogs typically don’t find appealing.
So if changing the wiring in your brain is possible, how is it done? Well, let’s look back over everything we’ve learned about how the brain is wired.
First, remember that all habits, good or bad, have one thing in common – they are instinctual. You may think of yourself as being on automatic pilot when engaging in them. The actions and behaviors are not intentional nor thoughtful. So, the first step is that we have to thoughtfully examine what we are doing and why. The more ingrained the habit, the more the need for this deep reflection. If you want to root out a bad habit, you better get to know it. Those struggling with addiction are taught to identify the triggers that tempt them into engaging in their addiction so that they can learn to avoid those triggers and have an escape plan when avoidance fails. The same principle applies to all bad habits – the better you know it the better your odds of devising an effective plan for overcoming it.
The second step is to recognize that if this is a habit, then it has been repeatedly reinforced, leading to multiple redundant pathways. Why does that matter? Because as you work to replace that habit, you will encounter resistance. It won’t be easy and you’ll likely stumble in your efforts. Trying to replace an old habit and encountering difficulty will result in negative reinforcement of the new behavior or thought. This works against us in our efforts, so the second step is to practice grace. Embracing the frustration and dwelling on it will make change all that much more difficult. This is likely easier said than done. Involving others who value you often helps because it opens us to receive love, encouragement and support and combats the tendency to isolate in areas of struggle which is a breeding ground for shame. Being open with others also provides us the opportunity to receive helpful feedback when we’re ready to receive it, particularly in areas where we might have blind spots.
Remember when we covered long term memory storage in Part 1? I said we’d come back to that. When working on establishing a new habit or replacing an old one, the more positive elements we can involve the more likely it will be stored in long term memory which will help us hold on to that new activity or behavior. The third step is to recognize that the new behavior or thought will require positive reinforcement. The more the better. An old dog learns new tricks by having the trick positively reinforced over and over again. The old saying “practice makes perfect” might apply here, but the practice can’t be a negative experience or it’s unlikely that it will stick. The more areas of our brain we incorporate in positively reinforcing, the more strengthened the new behavior or thought is likely to become. So, perhaps listen to a song that generates positive feelings such as excitement, joy, relaxation, peace or hope; light some incense, smell fresh flowers, or enjoy the scent of a loved one’s perfume or cologne; practice the new habit in a visually pleasant setting if possible or use visualization to picture something pleasant or relaxing while engaging in the new behavior or thought – perhaps visualize the positive outcomes of your new habit; reward yourself with something healthy and pleasant; involve others in the journey and receive positive reinforcement through connection with those who value you.
The fourth step is found on the back of my shampoo bottle – lather, rinse, repeat. Repetition is a key factor in building neural pathways.
Despite laying out a formula here, this is hardly an exact science. Go back over the steps again and again. The better you know the why’s and how’s of the original bad habit, the more likely you'll be at overcoming it. You’ll need grace, especially in more established habits. As you learn, you’ll discover more about what works for you and what doesn’t. Grace is a critical ingredient to learn what doesn’t work because failure is part of the learning process. The more you figure out what positive reinforcements work for you, the better you’ll be at utilizing them. This is a process that involves patience and repetition. Positive change is rarely easy but always worth it.