Who can forget that infamous line spoken by Heath Ledger’s Joker in the movie "The Dark Knight”? It is burned into our culture just as surely as “I’ll be back” and “May the Force be with you”. The words carried an ominous tone in the movie emphasized by the character’s reckless and dangerous behaviors. But maybe he was actually onto something, minus the malice and mayhem.

When I think of one of my longest friendships, the first thing I think of is laughter. Crazy, bizarre humor that perhaps only he and I would understand. I recall phone conversations where he would pretend to be on a loud speaker at a local department store announcing various specials and sale items. It might not sound funny to you, but I can assure you that I’ve never laughed as hard as I did during those twisted phone calls.

Obviously, there are many situations in life that are no laughing matter. Infidelity, addiction, illness and financial struggles can feel overwhelming. I’ve watched squirming clients in hard conversations with their partners turn to humor in an attempt to relieve or even escape their distress. But I’ve also seen clients correctly utilize humor in what relationship expert John Gottman refers to as a “repair attempt” in his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. A repair attempt is the effort to reconnect to a partner after an exchange has created distance in the relationship. Humor has a place in the midst of difficult situations.

If you watched counseling or psychiatry on TV, you’ve no doubt heard the concept that humor is a way to deflect and avoid, and there is truth to that. But this statement should be followed up with the question “is that necessarily a bad thing?”. Avoidance and deflection are definitely an unhealthy way to live, but sometimes people need to a release in order to endure the stress of a situation.

In the midst of difficulty that the need for humor is greatest. Not to necessarily make light of the situation, but simply as a means of release. Studies have shown that laughter produces many health benefits. A 2012 study at the University of Kansas suggests that the old saying “grin and bear it” may have stress relieving benefits. In the study, simply smiling, whether genuine or forced, allowed subjects to recover quicker from stressful activities. Based on traditional perspectives, including humor in counseling session may seem best left to Hollywood.  Despite the efforts of TV psychiatrists Bob Newhart and Frasier Crane, many people tend to see therapy as a rather humorless and stoic affair. While the subjects often covered within sessions can be weighty, it doesn’t mean that the atmosphere must be perpetually gloomy. Perhaps one of the greatest risks with heavy subjects is not that we take them too lightly, but that we take them too seriously. In the mid 1950’s psychologist Albert Ellis developed the term “catastrophizing” which is an irrational belief that something is far worse than is actually true. Ellis believed that being too serious was a sign of dysfunction, so he utilized humor in his counseling. Even Jewish psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, within the ghastly confines of a Nazi death camp, recognized the need for humor. Frankl wrote in his powerful book Man’s Search for Meaning

“To discover that there was any semblance of art in a concentration camp must be surprise enough for an outsider, but he may be even more astonished to hear that one could find a sense of humor there as well; of course, only the faint trace of one, and then only for a few seconds or minutes. Humor was another of the soul's weapons in the fight for self-preservation. It is well known that humor, more than anything else in the human make-up, can afford an aloofness and an ability to rise above any situation, even if only for a few seconds.”

If a man who endured hardship on a level I can’t comprehend saw value in humor within the most difficult of situations, I find it personally challenging that I attempt to do the same, not to belittle suffering, but to keep from drowning in it. So while you won’t find me dressed like the Joker or firing off knock-knock jokes within counseling sessions, you also won’t find me stoic and reserved. Humor, like many other counseling strategies, is an important tool for finding and maintaining mental health. We all need a laugh when we can get it (and when appropriate), present company included.  So, perhaps there is a place after all for humor in counseling.