But there will always be the doubters, not the least of which is your inner-critic.  Those who would wag their tongues and judge you for their perceptions of how you have fallen short.  In the Internet culture, the ability to state anonymous opinions has led to an explosion of judgment and insensitivity.  No longer is bullying limited to the playground and obnoxious bosses.  It is a breeding ground for shame and true vulnerability because failure is ruthlessly punished.  This gives fuel to our inner-critic who is off to the races if we are not equipped to address these attacks on our worth and value.

So why try to succeed in the face of failure if in doing so we draw the attention of those eager to attack us with their venom?

This is a common sentiment I see.  The risk just feels too great.  Our doubters, especially the one living inside of our heads, have gained our submission and we find ourselves frozen.  Our belief is that action invites criticism, so it is safer to not act at all.  I love what Theodore Roosevelt has to say about this topic.  He recognized the value in risking for a personally valued cause.  He saw the critics for what all critics are - detached and uninvested in the person striving to accomplish.  These are not allies looking to help us grow, but faceless critics who surface from the shadows to state selfish opinions.  As Roosevelt articulately expressed…

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

 Every action brings risk.  But every action is also an opportunity to step towards growth and fulfillment.  Failure does not define us, but it does shape us.  If we interpret our value through the lens of failure, we surrender our inherent value – the value we were born with – as if we actually had the power to change that value.  Surrendering our value simply leads us to deny who we are in the same way that we can deny that the sky is blue and the sun is warm.  If we instead choose to fight to embrace our value - and it is a fight - we provide ourselves the opportunity to grow towards a life far more fulfilling than one that requires the pointless perfection of never failing.